National Security Advisor / Butt-Monkey

So I am sitting at my Starbucks this morning looking over the dead tree version
of the New York Times when I come across this article explaining that Stephen J. Hadley is getting a promotion because he's 'loyal'.

"Loyal how ?" you ask. "Loyal like a dog maybe ?"

Uhm... No. It's more like 'Stockholm Syndrome loyal'.

You see when the USA channel cranks out "Triumph of the Bat-Shit Crazies : Round II, The Man-Date" they are going to have to get Lee Majors to play Hadley because:

Perhaps the lowest moment for Stephen J. Hadley in the first administration of George W. Bush came in July last year when he publicly took the blame for including in the president's State of the Union address a discredited intelligence report that said Iraq had sought uranium from Africa.

"The high standards the president set were not met," Mr. Hadley, the deputy national security adviser, told reporters in a rare on-the-record session in the Roosevelt Room across from the Oval Office.

It was an extraordinary and embarrassing moment in public view for the ultimate
behind-the-scenes foreign policy adviser. But it illustrated what friends and colleagues say is an important trait of Mr. Hadley: loyalty.

That's right, Hadley was the 'Fall Guy'. In July of 2003 he stood up before the whole world and said :

"I'm an incompetent boob! Sorry."

Now it goes with out saying that the Fall Guy is usually taking responsibility so that someone higher up doesn't have too; that's why they call them the 'Fall Guys'. In
this I am sure that Hadley is no exception. But there are certain important rituals that are traditionally observed when a public servant like Hadley takes 'The Fall':

1. The 'Fall Guy' publicly takes responsibility for his actions.


2. The 'Fall Guy' ask for forgiveness from his superiors and the public.


3. The 'Fall Guy' turns in his resignation and walks away from public service.

Steps 1 and 2 are nice, but step 3 is where the the piper gets paid. Also, after step 3 is compleated the little people get to say:

"Well it's good to see that our goverment is still acountable too us. Is CSI on yet?"

Step 3 is also where the 'Fall Guy' gets to keep some of his dignity. If you skip step three then the piper does not get paid and you do not exit as a noble but flawed public servant taking responsibility for failing the people you serve. No, if you skip step 3 you just get to be someones butt-monkey. Only a butt-monkey would publicly sacrifice their reputation and their dignity to protect a higher up and then hang around waiting for a reward to fall from the same alter whence they were offered up.

Steven J Hadley skipped step 3 ergo Steven J Hadley is a butt-monkey. [Ed. Readers may substitute 'exhibits classic symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome' for 'is a butt-monkey' in this analysis.] Also, the piper is threatening to turn the bill over for collection.

Anyway, the Butt-Monkey is getting promoted. According to the article :

President Bush said that Stephen Hadley was a "man of wisdom and good judgment" who "has earned my trust."

In a sane world, the Times would just stop right here and say "What a load of crap!" because it is a load of crap. In a sane world a incompetent boob does not get to hang around after letting the president make a significant mistake in the state of the union address, much less get a glowing complement and a promotion from the president a couple of years later.

What has Hadley done to earn the presidents trust?

Mr. Hadley wrote an opinion piece for USA Today in June 2004 arguing that the administration had been right before the war to link Al Qaeda to Saddam Hussein's government in Iraq, a claim largely rejected by the commission studying the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

The piece is here and it is pretty hactacular, but it's nothing that the administration doesn't get for free from Safire every week. What else has Hadley done in the trust earning dept?

...he (Hadley) led the National Security Council's planning for postwar Iraq, which has turned out to be deadlier and far more difficult than anticipated.

Ok, that's it, I give up. Hadley's a incompetent boob. He's becoming our new National Security Adviser because he's been a loyal butt-monkey. National Security Adviser is an important position and I, personaly, would like to see a higher primate who still has some of their dignity left filling the role.