Back
Well, we are back after a long and, frankly somewhat disastrous hiatus.
I'm sure you all know how it is. You come up with a great idea for reality TV. You invest the time and energy to polish it. You shop it around. You get funding to shoot a pilot. Pilot shot, you sit down with all the interested parties and you proudly press the play button.
And then it starts. The screaming. The sobbing. The vomiting. The pleas to "make it stop! Oh god make it stop". The people in the back who's name tags say "Fox" giggling like school girls...
We told everyone we were shooting "Can You Survive a Giant Zombie Spider Attach?". We told them it was going to be a reality show. I really don't understand how there could be any misunderstanding about what the show would be like.
Did they expect us to shoot "Can You Survive a Giant Zombie Spider Attach?" and not prominently feature giant zombie spiders? We worked hard on those spiders!
Any way, long story, short, the answer for our pilot was a resounding "No". None of our 18 tanned, toned, scantily clad contestants survived their short stay on Zombie Spider Island.
Personally I blame the contestants. I don't want to speak Ill of the recently dead, but honestly how do you miss with a flamethrower? What good is it going to do to drop the shot gun we gave you and try and climb a tree when you are being chased by a giant zombie spider? It's a giant spider moron! It can fucking climb a tree!
I have no doubt that, given time, we could have fine tuned the concept and gotten a better survival rate maybe edited down some of the kills so that the show could sit in a family friendly time slot.
But that wasn't in the card. Someone called the police and now we have a slight legal problem. Until we can put this whole thing behind us we are stuck doing the one thing that you can do from a secret underground lair ... Blogging.
I'm sure you all know how it is. You come up with a great idea for reality TV. You invest the time and energy to polish it. You shop it around. You get funding to shoot a pilot. Pilot shot, you sit down with all the interested parties and you proudly press the play button.
And then it starts. The screaming. The sobbing. The vomiting. The pleas to "make it stop! Oh god make it stop". The people in the back who's name tags say "Fox" giggling like school girls...
We told everyone we were shooting "Can You Survive a Giant Zombie Spider Attach?". We told them it was going to be a reality show. I really don't understand how there could be any misunderstanding about what the show would be like.
Did they expect us to shoot "Can You Survive a Giant Zombie Spider Attach?" and not prominently feature giant zombie spiders? We worked hard on those spiders!
Any way, long story, short, the answer for our pilot was a resounding "No". None of our 18 tanned, toned, scantily clad contestants survived their short stay on Zombie Spider Island.
Personally I blame the contestants. I don't want to speak Ill of the recently dead, but honestly how do you miss with a flamethrower? What good is it going to do to drop the shot gun we gave you and try and climb a tree when you are being chased by a giant zombie spider? It's a giant spider moron! It can fucking climb a tree!
I have no doubt that, given time, we could have fine tuned the concept and gotten a better survival rate maybe edited down some of the kills so that the show could sit in a family friendly time slot.
But that wasn't in the card. Someone called the police and now we have a slight legal problem. Until we can put this whole thing behind us we are stuck doing the one thing that you can do from a secret underground lair ... Blogging.
posted by mad science at 3:49 PM
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