Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"don't be ridi-cool-us."

This entry over at Laura's blog has given us a great idea: Let's bring back Perfect Strangers.



Of course we will need to update it. You know, make it all timely and shit.

We picture Mohammad Nahavandian as the spunky foreign guy with the funny accent and Michael Ledeen as his clueless, strait laced "cousin".

Here's how we see the new series:
Nahavandian, the senior aide to Iran's top nuclear negotiator, gets assigned the tricky task of going to the US and finding out if everyone in the US government is really as crazy as they sound on FOX News.

Money for the mission is a little tight because Iranian president Ahmadinejad has most of the nation's petty cash tide up in eBay bids for centrifuge parts. So, in an attempt to keep the budget down, Iranian intelligence gives Nahavandian Michael Ledeen's address. "We know it's not much, but he's the only guy we ever false flagged who is actually stupid enough to believe you're an Iranian dissident. Tell him your his long lost cousin or something and he'll probably let you crash on his couch." Nahavandian's handlers tell him.

So Nahavandian puts on his favorite shiny red shirt, grabs his old green card, and boards a flight for Washington. As a high ranking representative of one of the Axises of Evil he naturally has no problem clearing customs. [ed. We know that part sounds weak, but it's what appears to have happened in real life so we'll leave it in.]

In Washington DC, penniless and hungry, Nahavandian knocks nervously on Ledeen's door. His new "cousin" answers the door in a blue sweater emblazon with the Shaw of Iran's face and the words "Viva La Revolution!".

Michael is thrilled to welcome his new cousin, especially once he hears that Nahavandian is a Iranian dissident! In almost no time at all Michael finds Nahavandian a job as the National Review's official Iranian Freedom Blogger. Michael even loans Nahavandian his access badge to the American Enterprise Institute so he can stock up on office supplies and hit the free buffet when he gets hungry.

Before the day is done Nahavandian creates a firestorm of controversy over at The Corner by posting that to the bests of his knowledge, the Iranian ayatollahs do not actually eat baby heads or any other baby parts that he is aware of. Nahavandian even manages to get hold of someone at the state department, unfortunately that person hangs up as soon as they figure out that they are talking to a real live member if the Iranian government calling from the DC area code.

We can all look forward to hours of entertainment as Nahavandian's adventures land him in one sticky situation after another. We'll laugh till it hurts as Nahavandian struggles to understand the mind of the American neo-con and tries to help his new cousin Michael with his love life; all while disarming one serious international incident after the other with his spunky can do attitude and hilarious foreign catch-phrases like "An Iranian nuclear weapons program ...Oh don't be ridi-cool-us!"


Please note: this is our attempt at a parody. Yes, the real Nahavandian really is in tghe country and he really is a member of the Iranian goverment and, golly gee, we just don't know how that happened. That's all wierd enough, but if Nahavandian does turn up in the buffet line at the AEI or if he really is crashing on Ledeen's couch, we are going to have to move to Canada.

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