Beatings Will Continue Until Everyone "Gets It".
Recently some people have been complaining that they don't 'get it'.
This really hurts our feelings.
We take some solace from the fact that our journalistic hero, the great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, had to deal with his own fair share of folks not 'getting it', but we are also painfully aware of the fact that Dr. Thompson eventually had to blow his own brains out. While we can't lay all the blame for our hero's sad fate at the feet of those people who failed to understand his genius, we've done some calculations and are perfectly comfortable declaring those people 65.72% responsible for our hero's untimely death.
The odds are our hero would still be alive today if a few of those literary ingrates had bothered to dig just a little deeper into his writing before giving up and dropping all those careless, coldhearted 'I don't get it' bombs.
There is a lesson there and the lesson is :
So we are declaring a zero tolerance policy on folks not 'getting it'. We have a wife, dogs, and probably the only kitten in the world who is still an internet virgin. In short, we have responsibilities and we're not willing to risk the devastating long term effects that having our work misunderstood may have on our psychological well being.
Everyone has a week to start 'getting it'. After that we will come looking for you. When we find you, you will be forced at gunpoint to mow Humid Cedar's lawn* in your underwear while we sit on the porch drinking our favorite tequila and slowly explain our work to you with the aid of a bullhorn and a whip!
You've been warned.
* We would make you mow our lawn, but the lab is surrounded by land mines. We figure Humid Cedar won't mind us using his lawn because we know how much he has to shells out to each week to get it mowed.
This really hurts our feelings.
We take some solace from the fact that our journalistic hero, the great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, had to deal with his own fair share of folks not 'getting it', but we are also painfully aware of the fact that Dr. Thompson eventually had to blow his own brains out. While we can't lay all the blame for our hero's sad fate at the feet of those people who failed to understand his genius, we've done some calculations and are perfectly comfortable declaring those people 65.72% responsible for our hero's untimely death.
The odds are our hero would still be alive today if a few of those literary ingrates had bothered to dig just a little deeper into his writing before giving up and dropping all those careless, coldhearted 'I don't get it' bombs.
There is a lesson there and the lesson is :
"Don't fucking take that shit!"
So we are declaring a zero tolerance policy on folks not 'getting it'. We have a wife, dogs, and probably the only kitten in the world who is still an internet virgin. In short, we have responsibilities and we're not willing to risk the devastating long term effects that having our work misunderstood may have on our psychological well being.
Everyone has a week to start 'getting it'. After that we will come looking for you. When we find you, you will be forced at gunpoint to mow Humid Cedar's lawn* in your underwear while we sit on the porch drinking our favorite tequila and slowly explain our work to you with the aid of a bullhorn and a whip!
You've been warned.
* We would make you mow our lawn, but the lab is surrounded by land mines. We figure Humid Cedar won't mind us using his lawn because we know how much he has to shells out to each week to get it mowed.
posted by mad science at 2:19 PM
4 Comments:
Ohhh...NOW I get it!
Careful there, Mad Science. You just might end up having volunteers start showing up who enjoy mowing lawns in their underwear while you whip them... (the bullhorn is optional) Notorious Mjt!
What's this? I'm not saying I don't get it. I'm just not sure. I don't know if I get it or not. All I did was google "fucktard" and this is what I get? Threats of beatings and mowings? Tarsius.
This is why we gave everyone a week to get it Tarsius. We know people are busy doing important things like googleing 'fucktard' and we figured it might take everyone a couple of days to find the time to sit down and start 'get it'.
You've got six days left.
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