The Catholic Church : No Longer Reality's Bitch!

Tired of the way the reality based community has been pimping her out, the Catholic Church announced today that she will no longer be turning tricks for the motley crew of neo-darwinist, theoretical physicists, and other assorted "haters" that run the corner at Reality St. and Sane Blvd.

Instead she is moving on down to the corner of Batshit Crazy St. and Outright Dishonesty Lane where she will trick for an infinitely more respectable crew.

Ask to comment about her breakup with the reality based community, the Catholic Church took a long drag off an unfiltered Camel and paused to adjusted her thigh high fishnet stockings before explaining :

Throughout history the church has defended the truths of faith given by Jesus Christ. But in the modern era, the Catholic Church is in the odd position of standing in firm defense of reason as well. In the 19th century, the First Vatican Council taught a world newly enthralled by the "death of God" that by the use of reason alone mankind could come to know the reality of the Uncaused Cause, the First Mover, the God of the philosophers.

Now at the beginning of the 21st century, faced with scientific claims like neo-Darwinism and the multiverse hypothesis in cosmology invented to avoid the overwhelming evidence for purpose and design found in modern science, the Catholic Church will again defend human reason by proclaiming that the immanent design evident in nature is real. Scientific theories that try to explain away the appearance of design as the result of "chance and necessity" are not scientific at all, but, as John Paul put it, an abdication of human intelligence.

Which wraps the whole thing up pretty neatly. Its another classic example of the biology geeks and physics nerds turning the hoe's off with their empirical evidence and math. When are those punks gonna learn it don't pay to be hate'n like that?

Don't be hate'n Players.
We out.