Current Tax Policy Not Withstanding, Certain Kinds of Kindness Pay Crap-Ass Dividends and Should be Avoided
First of all, if you are ever doing standup and you're opponent jumps to guard just as you sink the double unders, do not put him down easy.
Seriously. I know the guy's probably your friend and all and you'll probably feel a little guilty for slamming him, but go ahead and feel guilty. You'll get over it. The fucker pulled guard for a reason; he didn't want to chance winding up in your side control after you took him down. He should pay for this. You should not.
So slam him. Slam him now. Never ever, ever be nice to someone who pulls guard on you. That kind of kindness will only cause you pain.
I tell you this because I recently learned the hard way that catching a 170 lbs man mid takedown and putting him down gently can be very bad for that little donut of cartilage that sits between L4 and L5 of your lower back.
At least it was for mine. I went home with a sore back. It didn't seem that bad, but I decided to take it easy for a while. By that I mean still wrestle but maybe not as hard.
After a week of "takeing it easy" my back no longer bothered me, but I was getting weird sensations up and down my right leg. Sometimes my hip felt tight and swore, sometimes my hamstring was stiff. I decided to keep "taking it easy" (a.k.a. still wrestle plus picking my 80 lbs dog up a couple of times to put her in the back of the truck).
A week goes by and my right leg is still bothering me. I'm starting to think that I should call my Dr. and get this checked out. I sit down to tie my shoes, stand up, and realize that I can't stand up without incredably intense pain shooting down my lower back into my leg.
I stagger to the kitchen where we still have some Vicodin left over from my knee surgery a year ago and gulp down two. I should mention at this point that I have never actualy taken Vicodin befor.
As it turns out Vicodin is not my friend.
Two hours latter my wounderfull 115 lbs wife has to literaly drag all 180 lbs of me into the Dr's office. The Vicodin I took have left me unable to focus, walk, or form a complete sentence. I am also ready to puke and as far as I can tell Vicodin does nothing for pain. It just turns you into a helpless blithering idiot who's about to puke. Clearly prescribing it is a violation of the Hippocratic oath.
We leave to Dr's office with prescriptions for something not Vicodin, muscle relaxers, and a prednisone dose pack.
One month, three Dr's visits, and an MRI later I am ready to start physical therapy. I'm off prescription pain killers but I am eating Tylenol and Ibuprofin like they are M&Ms.
Since it's the holiday season I go out and get one of those little candy bowls that everyone puts on their desk at work and I fill it with a festive collage of the brightest and most colorfull Tylenol and Ibuprofin I can find. An hour later the first in a long line of people stopped by my cube to grab some free candy. There's nothing quite like the expression on a person's face when they bite down on what they think is a collection of Skittles and find themselves crunching on a mouthful of extra strength tylonal instead.
Seriously. I know the guy's probably your friend and all and you'll probably feel a little guilty for slamming him, but go ahead and feel guilty. You'll get over it. The fucker pulled guard for a reason; he didn't want to chance winding up in your side control after you took him down. He should pay for this. You should not.
So slam him. Slam him now. Never ever, ever be nice to someone who pulls guard on you. That kind of kindness will only cause you pain.
I tell you this because I recently learned the hard way that catching a 170 lbs man mid takedown and putting him down gently can be very bad for that little donut of cartilage that sits between L4 and L5 of your lower back.
At least it was for mine. I went home with a sore back. It didn't seem that bad, but I decided to take it easy for a while. By that I mean still wrestle but maybe not as hard.
After a week of "takeing it easy" my back no longer bothered me, but I was getting weird sensations up and down my right leg. Sometimes my hip felt tight and swore, sometimes my hamstring was stiff. I decided to keep "taking it easy" (a.k.a. still wrestle plus picking my 80 lbs dog up a couple of times to put her in the back of the truck).
A week goes by and my right leg is still bothering me. I'm starting to think that I should call my Dr. and get this checked out. I sit down to tie my shoes, stand up, and realize that I can't stand up without incredably intense pain shooting down my lower back into my leg.
I stagger to the kitchen where we still have some Vicodin left over from my knee surgery a year ago and gulp down two. I should mention at this point that I have never actualy taken Vicodin befor.
As it turns out Vicodin is not my friend.
Two hours latter my wounderfull 115 lbs wife has to literaly drag all 180 lbs of me into the Dr's office. The Vicodin I took have left me unable to focus, walk, or form a complete sentence. I am also ready to puke and as far as I can tell Vicodin does nothing for pain. It just turns you into a helpless blithering idiot who's about to puke. Clearly prescribing it is a violation of the Hippocratic oath.
We leave to Dr's office with prescriptions for something not Vicodin, muscle relaxers, and a prednisone dose pack.
One month, three Dr's visits, and an MRI later I am ready to start physical therapy. I'm off prescription pain killers but I am eating Tylenol and Ibuprofin like they are M&Ms.
Since it's the holiday season I go out and get one of those little candy bowls that everyone puts on their desk at work and I fill it with a festive collage of the brightest and most colorfull Tylenol and Ibuprofin I can find. An hour later the first in a long line of people stopped by my cube to grab some free candy. There's nothing quite like the expression on a person's face when they bite down on what they think is a collection of Skittles and find themselves crunching on a mouthful of extra strength tylonal instead.
posted by mad science at 9:23 AM
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